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10th May
Brentwood 4th XI - 287-4 declared
Woodford Green 4th XI - 288-9
Woodford Green won by 1 wicket
Report by Damian Muncaster
First game of the season, in glorious sunshine with the salubrious backdrop of St Martins School (when I say salubrious lets just say that if Essex was to have enema this pitch is certainly option for where to place the pipe), Brentwood's 4's really lived the dream on Saturday. Woodford Green provided the opposition in what turned out to be an epic encounter.
With train delays, litter collection, a Coote crusade across Essex to recover the balls, stumpgate and masking tape for crease issues all unfolding before a ball had even been bowled, drama was not in short supply at St Martins.
When play eventually got underway Brentwood batted first and it soon became apparent that runs were in the offing. Tony Dann (28) and Muncaster (26) got Brentwood off to a flyer posting a 50 partnership within the first 9 overs, but neither batsman were able to build on promising starts and fell in quick succession to give Woodford green a foothold in the game. Lyne and debutant Brayley were then forced to rebuild and soon started to become accustomed to the conditions. Brayley the more aggressive of the batsman was harsh on anything short and Lyne in his own inimitable some would say soporific style started to accumulate.
Lyne then started to play freely, scoring boundaries , he was unleashed, it felt like Kerry Katona taking off her bra, but it wasn't to last as Lyne soon received a shooter and was bowled for 20. Rhys Furlong was next in and after his all conquering season for the 5th team last year, his first knock of the season was greeted with much anticipation and expectation. He departed for a 4th ball duck.
So again after laying a solid foundation Brentwood lost the initative with the loss of two quick wickets. But Brentwood had needn't of worried. Chris Dann was next in and he produced an innings of timing power and disdain. From the word go Dann dominated the Woodford Green attack like an Austrian DIY expert with a family member. He hit 6's and 17's 4s, finishing with 116 n/o in what must have been no more than 70 balls. It was a master class in controlled hitting. At the other end Brayley was also enjoying himself, completely in control and again seemingly hitting boundaries at will he went on to compile an excellent 74 n/o as Brentwood declared on 287 after only 42 overs.
Brentwood was confident in not only defending the total but also on claiming victory. This positive mood was further enhanced as Fernhead (2-41) struck in the first over to dismiss the charming opening batsman. Brentwood then claimed a second wicket, Payne (3-67) making the breakthrough to put Brentwood firmly in the driving seat.
But then the whole context of the game changed, a stunning innings from Bhatt (103) and solid support from Jethwa (65) saw Woodford green get rapidly back into the game. Boundaries flowed and Brentwood struggled to cope with the onslaught, leaking runs like an incontinent pensioner.
Coote Payne and Muncaster all went for big runs and with the run total disappearing faster than a Burmese village it was desperate times. Eventually Bhatt departed as Muncaster (2-58) bowled him, this was quickly followed by a 2 wicket salvo from Payne and Brentwood were back in it.
With overs not an issue Brentwood needed 5 wickets and the opposition 50 runs. Smit(2-66) then got in on the act taking two wickets for which his long spell deserved but runs and crucially extras were still being scored.
With 20 runs needed and still 3 wickets to take, Fernhead returned to the attack and struck in his second over giving Brentwood renewed hope and setting the nerves jangling in the Woodford Green dressing room (errr...plastic chairs).
Woodford managed to eek out a further runs and victory was imminent but with 2 runs left to score Muncaster struck to again reignite the tension...but alas it was not be , the next over the winning runs came in the form of byes amid jubilant scenes from Woodford green.
A great game of cricket had salvaged a difficult day for Brentwood 4's and the spirit displayed bodes well for the season ahead.
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17th May
Loughton 3rd XI - 189-8
Brentwood 4th XI - 107 all out
Loughton won by 82 runs
Report by Damian Muncaster
It was a case of pain in the rain for Brentwood 4s on Saturday as they crashed to a disappointing 82 run defeat at the hands of Loughton.
An afternoon of that fine rain, the one that soaks you, was far from Brentwood's liking. A hard working fielding display was completely undermined in a 10 over new ball burst from Loughton 3s that left Brentwood reeling on 40-6 and effectively ended any hopes that Brentwood harbored of getting anything from the game.
On a decent pitch yet remarkable outfield, Brentwood had earlier managed to restrict Loughton to 189-8 from their allotted 52 overs. The outfield was something to behold as one side of the ground fell away so markedly that fielding at deep mid wicket meant you could not see the stumps, the rest of the outfield could be classed as undulating at best, with drumlins, hanging valleys, ribbon lakes and pyramidal peaks all challenging the fielders. (see mother I did listen in physical geography class). Glacial Loughton.
Making his first appearance of the season Mike Hornsby (1-50) took the new ball in tandem with youth prospect Will Ashby (2-47). After a couple of looseners, Hornsby soon found his range and after a brisk start from the Loughton skipper Ashby struck to get proceedings underway for Brentwood.
Ashby bowling with good pace and a reliable off stump line was proving a handful and Hornsby was relishing being back in the action as he took his first wicket of the season after impeccable manners from the Loughton batsman. Payne (0-30) was soon brought into the attack and although bowling with decent accuracy, Loughton batsmen were consolidating and Brentwood found the breakthrough difficult.
Runs were being accumulated, conditions were worsening and the rain was taking its toll on the condition of the ball. It had become soft and difficult to grip, we all had sympathy for Pele's wife. But Morne Smit (2-28) became our South African Viagra as his tight spell was rewarded with two wickets, the first from a good catch in the conditions from Ben Sach. Brentwoods ground fielding was excellent throughout and was rewarded by two run outs, one from distance by Brayley of particular note.
Muncaster and Ashby then bowled the remainder of the overs as Loughton looked to propel themselves over the 200 mark. But Ashby's impeccable line and Muncaster's (1-29) darts made sure they did not run away with things and Brenwtood came off pleased with their efforts in testing conditions.
And unfortunately that is where the good news ended, Ian Moore was bowled a pearler first up, Lyne, Mahadeo, Brayley and Muncaster, (the victim of an horrific umpiring decision, he almost called amnesty international as it was such an infringement on his human rights) formed a procession and it was only a spirited effort from u16 Adam Mathias (15), u35 Mike Honrsby (37) and u46 Mickey Payne (6) that got the total to 3 figures.
Mathias with a straight bat showed promise, Hornsby was severe on anything in his slot..*ahem* and Mickey Payne was stoic but defeat was inevitable after the poor start where Brentwood failed to get any measure of what was required in the conditions.
Loughton deservedly won as their use of the new ball was far more incisive. Brentwoods problem so far has been an inability to put together a solid batting and bowling display together in the same game. Spirits are still high but a first win of the season at home to Wickford next week will be welcome and hope fully kick start the campaign and a climb up the league that this handsome bunch of bounders deserve.
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31st May
Harold Wood 3rd XI - 206-6
Brentwood 4th XI - 163-8
Match Drawn
Report by Damian Muncaster
As Coote and Ashby defiantly held on to deny Harold Wood victory the overall feeling was of a missed opportunity at the Hesseltine's pitch on Saturday.
Middle order mayhem, at a time when sensible batting was required, scuppered Brentwood's victory push and almost cost them the game. Chasing a total of 206 Brentwood looked well set at 110-2 entering the final 20overs, but on losing the inform Andy Taker who had effortlessly moved to 47. Brentwood lost their heads and with it their wickets. Lyne (40) and Takers (47) serene progress was no indicator of what was about to follow..
Hobo Mahadeo's poor run of form continued, the makeweight in the side H Jones (21) holed out when well set, Muncaster showed all the awareness of David Blunkett...without the dog, Chicken was, well, headless and Hornsby was just reckless. From 110-2 Brentwood were now 150-8 with 5 overs still left to bowl.
Luckily Ashby and Coote showed resolve and aptitude and made sure that Harold Wood did not claim an unlikely 20 pts. Although Payne, coming in next, slayer of u9's bowling on a Friday night, was backing himself to take Brentwood to victory and was disappointed that the opportunity didn't present.
Earlier in the day the bowling performance had been an equally mixed bag, a green top had left us expectant but Brentwood were made to work hard for their wickets. Edkin's reacted quickly to stump the Harold Wood opener to Hornsby's (1-40) delight but Brentwood had to wait until the introduction of Payne (3-32) for further success.
Payne bowled tightly and completely and utterly bored the life out the Harold Wood batsmen. His first two wickets were false shots borne out of pressure and frustration and his third wicket was claimed when the batsmen slipped into a deep boredom induced coma and lost all cognitive function.
At the other end Brentwood introduced the spin of Harold Jones (2-52) to immediate effect. Admittedly it was gamble by the captain to bring such an untried into the game at this stage. Everyone was unsure whether he would cope with the pressures of playing at this exalted level but those fears where soon allayed as he struck with his first ball. (Whether his overall performance is enough to secure selection for the 4s next week is in the hands of the selectors)
Unfortunately for Brentwood this brought to the crease M.Sewell who right from the off had a liking for the conditions. Sewell battered the Brentwood bowlers with only Jones causing him discomfort. He ended up 106 not out and looked a class apart to what had gone before. Crucially Brentwood did drop him whilst in the 70's (runs not decades) and those 30 runs in the final analysis proved costly.
But not too worry, in life you have to accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you are the statue. We battled our way to draw and with encouraging signs from the batting of Lyne and Ashby to be supplemented this week by the dashing blade of Dann and the power of Brayley a potentially stronger batting performance is on the cards (cue 70 a.o).
Horndon on the Hill is next up. Coooo.
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14th June
Buckhurst Hill 3rd XI - 157 all out
Brentwood 4th XI - 158-2
Brentwood won by 8 wickets
Report by Damian Muncaster
The National Lampoons Essex Vacation took place on Saturday as Brentwood 4s attempted to find and subsequently play cricket at Buckhurst Hill on Saturday. In a journey that for your average Joe normally takes around 30mins, Brentwood 4s lead by Damian Clark Griswold Muncaster and ably assisted by Rusty Edkins and Audrey Lyne managed to make the journey last 2 and bit hours as they took in a comprehensive tour of Essex cricket grounds, including Loughton, Woodford Green, Chigwell School Epping, the Green Man roundabout. The Charlie Brown roundabout , Wally World, the Taj Mahal, The pyramids and a lost Inca civilisation...probably.
So unsurprisingly a late start ensued, but due to Mike Hornsby arriving on time ,paying absolutely no attention to his captain and following simple instructions Brentwood had won the toss and decided to field. The late start had not gone down well with opposition but with the sun shining a picturesque setting and fresh clean whites on display it didn't take long for the travel woes to be forgotten and for the game to get underway. Well for 10 of the Brentwood team but more of that later....
Hornsby (3-48) and Ashby took the new ball and it wasn't long before the first wickets fell. A wicket a piece for the bowlers saw Brentwood exert early control. Ashby (1-12) produced a beauty to clean bowl the happy go lucky Aussie opener and with Ashby bowling the opposition were barely able to penetrate the tight ring, a trait which may come under threat as he embarks on his 3 week Gay cruise around the Med.
The Buckhurst hill captain strode to the crease after the loss of those two wickets and calmed proceedings. Bedecked in dark glasses he looked too cool for school and whilst at the crease Buckhurst hill looked to be laying the foundations for a significant total on a perfect batting track.
But just as it looked things were slipping away from Brentwood young Sam Dawes (1-20) entered the attack and within 4 balls had claimed a breakthrough and this was Brentwood's cue to make inroads into the oppositions batting line up.
The Fancy Dann's then combined to good effect as Tony held on to a catch from Chris's bowling and as Rounce (3-30) struck in a impressive spell of off spin bowling everything seemed to be going smoothly, it was all a bit surreal infact.
And this surreal feeling was only enhanced as Brentwood noticed in the distance, wandering around the outfield, James Lyne. Now the strange thing was that James was last seen at Charlie Brown round about at about ten past one. It was now half past three and the team had forgotten about him.
It had taken him 2 and half hours to find Buckhurst hill from Charlie Brown roundabout, everyone was stunned as he waved gaily (easy Ashby) and asked what the score was. He had basically shown all the direction skills of Mikey from Big Brother. 2 and a half hours!...to Buckhurst hill....
But James brought us up to a full compliment and was on hand to watch us polish off the Buckhurst hill innings. Damian Griswold (2-33) got in the act; Rounce claimed 2 more and Hornsby returned to hunt rabbits. Buckhurst hill were all done for 157. A good effort after a stressful build up, on a decent batting track and of course playing the majority of the game with 10 fielders.
Tea was nice. And I'd like to do a review in these reports of the orange squash on offer around Essex..A often underrated and overlooked part of the Saturday afternoon. It is to my utter chagrin when this seemingly simple task is performed badly.
'SquashWatch'
- Temperature - nothing worse than when its warm and like wise when its so cold you receive an ice cream headache or brain freeze. Perfect , cold yet not iced, went down easier than a lawyers briefs. 4/5 beakers
- Strength - A little on the weak side, there was plenty left over so I conclude that the amount of squash required was correct but the dilution process had somehow gone array. But for more that's preferable to syrupy extra strong stuff that's the colour of your first steamy p*** in the morning. 3/5 Beakers
- Sunny D Effect - I would say lower than average E-numbers rating, apart from Sam Dawes grinning manically for the remaining 26 overs the attention deficit factor was negligible. 3/5
- Overall - A decent enough squash, this was obviously no blue and white strips value range but likewise was not in the 'taste the difference' high juice bracket. But it did a job and we all commented that we've had a lot worse over the years. We all nodded sagely and then returned to our positions. Sad bastards. 3.5/5 Beakers
So back to the cricket and although chasing a target of 157 had us down as firm favourites our previous weeks collapse meant nerves in the top order batsmen
But we needn't of worried T Dann (65no) and Chris Dann (53) were not scarred by the previous weeks shambles and set about the bowling with gay abandonment (easy Ashby). Tony knew that running between the wickets was overrated and dealt only in boundaries or the odd single to long on.
Chris like wise decided that he was going to hit the ball very hard today and smashed the bowling to all corners. One flat batted straight six, slapped baseball style barely went above waist high. The pair totally took any initiative away from Buckhurst hill and it was only a matter of time before the victory was confirmed. The daring Danns were at the double, as Brentwood made Dann sure of victory infact Chris and Tony gave Buckhurst hill a Dann good thrashing, Double D *hooked off stage*...ok you get the picture they both played well.
Chris though couldn't see victory home and holed out to long on, at this point after 53 runs he was disappointed, I was disappointed in him, the team were disappointed. In fact he'd let us down, he'd let the club down but more importantly he'd let himself down.
All we can hope is that a learnt a valuable life lesson today and is able to move on.
This did though bring Muncaster (Three not out) to the crease under immense pressure, the loss of a quick wicket the fact there were only 14 overs to play, the fact we only had 8 wickets left and crucially we still had 6 runs to get mean that it would take a special character to take it all on.
And yes Muncaster did not disappoint, cometh the hour cometh the man. Muncaster effortlessly scored the run that brought victory with a wonderful single. Jubilant scenes as Brentwood moved from 2nd bottom to 3rd bottom. Days of lives, folks days of our lives.
P.S James didn't get a bat but found his way home safely.
Ciao Bella's.
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12th July
Wickford 3rd XI - 175 all out
Brentwood 4th XI - 176-3
Brentwood won by 7 wickets
Report by Damian Muncaster
It seems quite sometime since I reported on our trip to Buckhurst Hill and for that I apologise. I'd like to say that I've been too busy 'Livin' La Vida Loco' but to be honest its been more hot cocoa that loco, although in saying that I did have a night hangin' at Chris Stewards crib...totally off the scale .... boy did those hoes get it. F'schnizzle Chris F'Schnizzle..but I digress what has been happening to those 4th team heroes.....
Even though performances have been mixed, we've been extremely handsome which, I hear you cry, is difficult not to with the raw animal magnetism that exudes from Payne and raffish qualities of our very own Leslie Phillips; Tony Dann. 'I say ding dong Tony'. And its only right that these two get first mention in dispatches as on the pitch they have been in scintillating form (well as scintillating as its gets in 3rd team cricket)
Our most recent match away to 2nd placed Wickford was a prime example. The game yielded a much needed 18 pts and never has so much been owed to so few (apart from World War 2 of course). After sticking Wickford in, Hornsby and Payne opened proceedings and before you could say 'pass me the crack pipe Chris' Payne had them 3 down for a mere 25 runs. But he didn't stop there, oh no, insatiable he was, and with catches and stumpings for Adam Lothar Mathias the 5 fer was in his grasp.
Hornsby though was having no luck, LBW's turned down and difficult *cough* half chances to mid off spurned. Although outwardly he acted pleased for Mickey I could just about hear him muttering 'why is it never my turn' 'life is so unfair' 'I hate you I wish I'd never been born' on his way back to fine leg. But things soon turned round as a Hornsby struck not once, not twice, but three times and all that was left was for Payne to wrap up proceedings and snaffle his 6th of the innings. 6-46 Nice work. Wickford all out for 175.
And then it was over to Tony.... Any nerves we had about chasing 175 were soon removed as Tony in a flurry of sixes took the game away from Wickford. Ably supported by Tom Tom Lyne (please see previous reports) Dann was yet again racing in on a half century. This duly arrived but because he had a family do he got himself and then legged it, he's such a social butterfly.
Tom Tom (53 no) though saw the job through and with Jack Anderson (30 no) it was good times for the heroes, when I told my homie Chris he reckoned it was sick and advised me to sip Bacardi, like its your birthday.....
But in previous weeks all had not been as rosy (talking of Rosie, now Rosie Webster where did those two beauties spring up from)...a crushing defeat at home to Ilford was only notable for 48 runs for Tony and a 4th team debut for Douglas Maxwell. The floppy haired leg spinner of a mere 11 years old put in a sterling performance. Not overawed by facing last season Ilfords 2nd XI skipper he showed much promise for the future.
Next up saw us travel to our main rivals Wansted and it saw us produce one of our performances of the season so far. The tricky wicket at Nutter Lane always makes for awkward batting and so it proved as we struggled to 90-6. I Moore(33) and Chris Dann(36) after looking well set both went in quick succession and the outlook was bleak. But a spirited effort from the tail saw Mathias, Muncaster and Morgan take the total to 196 after the 52 overs.
This sent us into the field with our tails up and a ripsnorter from Moore enhanced the feel good factor. Payne was soon in on the act and as catches were held and with the fielding exemplary ,wickets began to fall. Payne the major benefactor as he recorded another 5 wicket haul. Chris Dann also bowled well in this game, just the 11 wides in 3 overs....students eh....
But despite having Wansted 8 down with 10 overs still left to play Brenwtood try as they may couldn't force the win. But all in all it was a decent effort. I was proud of the players in fact I would happily have become a surrogate father for any one of them that day and if in later years we were separated, perhaps by the unfit mother as the judge decides to ignore her ketamine and home shopping channel addiction , I would have had no qualms about donning a batman costume and climbing the clock on Wilson's corner in protest....(chris has already said he'd be my Robin...f'sure)
But the topsy turvey nature of the season continued as Basildon arrived at the OCG. I think Mario's eviction was preying heavy on the minds of our players as Baz posted 198. Sash and Sach...the errrr SS claimed the bowling honours with 4 and 3 respectively but our batting performance never got going...Roger, Early and Brailey got starts but never kicked on and it was left to Sach (10 n/o) and Gulrajani (35) to block out for the draw. One incident of note came when Scott Harper Horn took one in the breadbasket, not the quickest of deliveries but it can still hurt when you don't wear a box!!!
My blud Chris said he would lend Scott his old one for the next match. Which was kind I thought.
And so that is where we are at.... 3 wins 3 draws and 4 defeats which leaves us second from bottom, but not too worry, everyone will be sat down before the final fixtures to watch the great escape…yep Bobby's winner at Arsenal, Noble's volley vs Bolton and of course Carlos's tuck home at Old Trafford....so can the Brentwood 4s Tevez please step forward your time has arrived....
Ciao bellas.
Top run scorers - T dann 259 av 52. K Brailey 190 av 38.
Top wickets - M Payne 22wkts av 14 M Hornsby 14 wkts av 21.
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